When a man leaves you while pregnant, it can be an incredibly difficult and emotional experience. You may feel like you are alone and that no one understands what you are going through. It is important to remember that you are not alone and there are people who care about you and want to help…. Two years ago I was approaching 40 and I was single again. I vividly remember thinking to myself, “This wasn’t in my plans, how could this happen to me?” I had invested 14 years of of my life into that relationship and it was all gone. Having to tell people was brutal in those early months. Most people don’t try to make you feel that way — it’s more of an internal struggle. Others were sympathetic and starting over after divorce encouraged me to move forward with my life but really, I had no other choice.
The nine states with community property laws are Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington, and Wisconsin. In these states, all assets that come into the marriage during the marriage through any means other than inheritance or as a gift are owned 50/50 by the husband and wife. But, the beauty is, looking within, you could end up living a life that makes you truly happy and fulfilled, and without a man who cheats. Lastly, take time to really be honest with yourself about who you are, what mistakes you have made, what you want for your future, and what is going to make you happy. Cheaters usually have deep-seeded issues that run the gamut of sex addiction to low self-esteem/insecurity to selfishness to simply bad judgment that they later regret. Not that cheating is acceptable if you are a good person. You are probably devastated, deeply hurt, sad, scared, angry, and in shock that the divorce is actually happening. But let’s be honest, yoga and meditation aren’t going to heal your broken heart.
Considering the fact that most people have kids in their twenties or thirties, your children are big enough to handle this kind of change by the time youre in your forties. Some men may feel relieved after a divorce and find it easy to move on. Others might take time to process the experience and find relief. No matter how long it takes you, you’re not alone. Divorce recovery happens at a different rate for everyone. Regardless of which category the divorced man finds himself in, giving himself time to cope and grieve can be beneficial. The most meaningful response I got came from an unlikely source—and not because she is not a good friend. Quite to the contrary, Betsy is a dear friend from when we were five years old.
He had remarried in his late 60s and moved to Sydney to be nearer to us kids. Mum and Dad remained friends over the years until Dad passed at age 78. Our relationships are powerful elements in our lives, which is a major reason why starting over after divorce at 50 (or any age!) can be such a pivotal moment. Realizing your marriage is no longer viable can make you feel that your entire life is over and that there is nothing to look forward to. There are chapters of your life yet to be written and new people you haven’t met yet waiting to adore you, whether platonically or romantically.
Instead of focusing on how you don’t have a man right now, think about what’s going great in your life. Maybe you’ve successfully raised a productive member of society (your Mini-Me). There’s plenty in your life to feel good about, so don’t focus on having a man to feel confident. Ronnie Ann Ryan is a dating coach for women over forty who has helped successful single gals find love for over fifteen years. Ready to stop wasting precious time on dating mistakes that keep you single? Listen to her free audio program 12 First Date Mistakes That Ruin Your Chances for Love. With so many ways to meet single men, dating over 40 doesn’t have to feel like a chore.
Sharing these thoughts can feel difficult, to say the least, but trained crisis counselors can always listen with compassion and in-the-moment coping support during a crisis. Divorce can cause deep and lasting pain, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and with no idea how to start feeling better. In most cases, many different factors contribute to the breakdown of a marriage. Unless your partner was toxic or abusive (abuse is never your fault), both of your actions likely played some part. That’s not to say you should ignore those feelings.
Although there is not necessarily a defining characteristic of a man over 40, there may be some statistical similarities in men at this age. For example, many men over 40 are established in their careers, have children, provide for their families, or have goals for their adult life. These areas can often be heavily impacted by divorce. Men under 40 may also experience these situations. However, many men under 40 may still be establishing a life.